Worse day ever
Today Has not been a normal day…it’s day four in my journal..and last night we had a bad snow storm here in the Carolina’s.. So my son , who works nights was home..since his work closed. He is a night manager..and sleep during the day..so usually I am alone to do my own thing.. then he leaves around 8:15..so I have the evenings alone.. but last night he was here.. I still got in my walk..but the evening was difficult for me..when he stated snacking.. a bowl of Blue Bell Rocky Road.. a favorite of mine.. then some popcorn..with butter.. the smell about killed me!! GASP! But I never gave in.. I made a cup of hot tea and sipped it..I am still filled with a COUGH! That has drove me crazy since January 2! I have just started my third round of Steriods..and I have to go back to the Doctor for the third time to get more antiboitics! UGH! Everytime I am finished with the medicine..the cough comes back! It’s driving me crazy I tell you! Crazy!!! I want it to stop! So last night I was still up at 4 am…coughing! I was so tired..but no sleep was to be had… I coughed and coughed and coughed more.. I was for sure at some point my lung was across the room on the wall…for I know I coughed that sucker up! Finally.. I some how stopped coughing and fell asleep.. I got about 4 1/2 hours sleep.. I woke this morning..tired..and right off the bat my son wanted to go to town and pick up somethings.. like my Steriod medicine…so I got up , dressed and out the door.. No breakfast..no water..nothing..off to our local Wally world..now normally you shouldn’t go to the grocery hungry.. but I had no choice.. but to tell you the truth.. I really wasn’t hungry.. I Picked up some greek yogurt..apples..chicken noodle soup..and chicken broth..sticking to my list..nothing really called my name to buy it ..like it normally does.. the grocery can be a nightmare for a food addict! But today it wasn’t what it normally was for me.. odd.. I thought..walking out of Wally world my son decided to stop in at The in store Mcdonals..UGH! I resisted…and got nothing.. he took his to go.. in to the truck we went..really to go to the next stop Sams Club…but I had to endure the smells of hot crispy french fries..ozzing out into the air….he offered me some..no thank you I replied…once at Sams we had to sit in the truck until he finished eating.. OH dear GOD! SAVE ME PLEASE! This is pure tourture for me.. the smell almost made me sick! Remember I have not ate yet!!!..Into Sams we went.. to get my medicine..and pick up some fresh fruit..in and out..but wait …the snack bar is open.. and look at the pizza! I could have one slice of veggie pizza! After all I didn’t eat breakfast.. I could only eat the toppings and throw away the crust..and its under $2 bucks!…I was right there at the end cash register..next to the snack bar.. I had talked myself into the one piece of pizza..I reasoned with myself as to why I could have it..and then something happened.. my new self stomped on my old self..and said girl..walk your self right out of here..get in the car..and eat something your are SUPPOSE to have from home..NOW! Before I kick your ass!! Out the door I went..not even thinking twice..no regreats! I had been saved!!!! And I felt good about it..really good !
Once home..I fixed myself some pre-prepared soup from yesterday..a cup of hot tea..and sat down at my own kitchen table..and enjoyed my soup! Sastified…beyond words…that I had not slipped…I had stuck up for myself..and did the right thing..how ever watching my son make his famous Sasuage and chicken gumbo..is hell again… he is making it for his crew tonight.. thank goodness he is taking it to work..speaking of ..isn’t it time for him to go back to work? I don’t mean to be mean.. I love my son.. but this day has throwin me for a loop..I didn’t get my first mile on the gazzell in until after 1!…and although I have been tempted many times over with food choices.. I made it through…with hard work and determination!!! It could of been worse..! A million times worse!
So remember to plan for the unplannable…is that even a word? HAHA! Plan ahead.. remember your daily food plan.. remember why you are where you are..and your plans to change that.. keep a firm grip on reality..and snap back into the real world..in any situation! Focus..breathe and Focus… remember your goals…and stick to them..one wrong choice could lead into a sprirl downhill ..that could take forever to get out of…and I don’t want that… again…
So even though I didn’t have the evening or day I had planned.. because I remembered my purpose and goals…I was able to navigate through it all and come out singing!!! Oh HAPPY DAY! Now if I could just get rid of this cough… all would be right in the world! Anyone got some tips for getting rid of this cough..short of replacing my lungs?